Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
