at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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