This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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