Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
