four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize