and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
