Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
two words...techno handjob
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
