Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
