the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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