He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
