I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I forget how to act sober
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize