I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
