do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
