i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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