No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Do vagina's smell?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
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he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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