careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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