You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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