the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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