put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
