i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
