I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
