So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize