I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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