Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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