dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
