don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
