my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
