ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize