We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have tasted many bathrooms
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
