God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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