my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
