i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
