cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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