No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
