last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
