You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I would ride that face into the sunset
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
