why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
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Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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