i jhust puked up my retainher.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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