Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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