Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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