Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
two words: eviction party
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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