You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
