The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
