The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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