I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
