After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
