I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
