this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
