He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
