Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
