I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
