drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
