I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
