A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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