Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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