The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
