Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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