Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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