You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
All I want is dick and wine.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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