I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
