We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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