(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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