I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I cannot find my penis.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
