I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Let's get the cat blown out
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
