i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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