Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
