Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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