I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
