haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
