And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he thought i was a dude.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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