No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
